Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
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He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
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Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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