so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
