I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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