I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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