Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
