once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
