Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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