you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
