when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
A bitchslap is in order.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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