Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
