Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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