Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
