did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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