i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
