508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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