they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
