The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
