u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
