Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize