oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
