I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
