the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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