i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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