We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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