One girl and one boy is just not enough.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
