If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
