I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
