Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
