Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
