im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
