I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
