just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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