Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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