Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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