Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
