you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
