It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Acid is not a monday night drug
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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