Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
