We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize