i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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