her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
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Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
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Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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