you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
