this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
