I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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