But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We got so high we made milksteak
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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