Non-Jews are for practice
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize