i don't like sucking hair
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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