what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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