We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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