kristin has been a bad kristin
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask