Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.