Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
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You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
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A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor