Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy

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  (206): he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy http://tfl.nu/mh40
  Replies (11) Good night (669) Bad night (5894)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome

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  (612): adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome http://tfl.nu/w0f6
  Replies (49) Good night (3700) Bad night (1053)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"

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  (262): This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year" http://tfl.nu/hf6v
  Replies (9) Good night (1280) Bad night (6409)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.

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  (413): i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur. http://tfl.nu/9vxg
  Replies (11) Good night (5851) Bad night (1264)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.

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  (815): just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet. http://tfl.nu/j91e
  Replies (7) Good night (3393) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.

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  (660): I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night. http://tfl.nu/myre
  Replies (3) Good night (3039) Bad night (1240)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me

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  (330): I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me http://tfl.nu/zsgz
  Replies (2) Good night (1137) Bad night (1856)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.

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  (309): I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough. http://tfl.nu/3hvx
  Replies (3) Good night (646) Bad night (1094)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am

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  (864): Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am http://tfl.nu/oar5
  Replies (5) Good night (740) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up

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  (215): I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up http://tfl.nu/xoz1
  Replies (9) Good night (2120) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.

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  (570): I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned. http://tfl.nu/u9a7
  Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.

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  (702): Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well. http://tfl.nu/ln4y
  Replies (3) Good night (263) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.

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  (717): Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable. http://tfl.nu/afco
  Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (277)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.

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  (801): I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet. http://tfl.nu/dc53
  Replies (1) Good night (456) Bad night (169)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.

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  (901): I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck. http://tfl.nu/x3qh
  Replies (2) Good night (367) Bad night (420)

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