Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
