guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
