Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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