def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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