Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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